Why It’s So Hard to Make Yourself a Priority in Midlife

For decades, you’ve been the one everyone can depend on: the caregiver, the problem-solver, the glue that holds everything together. But somewhere along the way, your own wellness slipped to the bottom of the list.

As women, we’ve been conditioned to keep going and juggle it all, no matter how tired or stretched thin we feel. And when menopause enters the picture, that juggling act gets even harder. Suddenly, your body feels unfamiliar - your energy dips, sleep disappears, weight creeps up around your middle, and your moods swing between fine and frustrated. You wonder what happened to the woman who used to feel vibrant, focused, and in control.

You’re not alone. I hear it all the time and I've experienced it myself.

Here are three truths about why it feels so hard to prioritize yourself in midlife.

1. You’ve Been Conditioned to Give.

From the time you were a little girl, you were expected to be selfless, playing mom and making tea with your dolls. You were raised to help, to nurture, to say yes even when you’re running on empty. Your giving nature is a beautiful strength, but when it becomes your entire identity, it leaves little room for you. You become the mom, the partner, the colleague, the caretaker and forget the woman who needs rest, joy, and fulfillment too. The fact is, pouring from an empty cup eventually leads to burnout and resentment. You can’t give your best when you’re constantly running on fumes. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s how you refill your energy, rebuild your confidence, and create the foundation to thrive through menopause.

2. You Think it’s Never the Appropriate Time.

There’s always going to be something, right? The job deadlines, the endless housework, the car that needs servicing, the child (or adult child) who still needs you, or maybe the parent who now depends on you. And in menopause, those demands collide with a body that’s asking for something different....more rest, better nourishment, more strength training and movement. So you tell yourself you’ll focus on your health when things “slow down,” but that time rarely ever comes. There will ALWAYS be something demanding your energy and attention. Waiting for the right moment to start taking care of yourself only delays the strength, energy, and confidence you deserve right now. You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Start with one walk instead of scrolling. One meal that fuels you instead of takeout. One 20-minute workout instead of reading emails. Because those small steps are how you start reclaiming your vitality.

3. You Underestimate Your Worth.

You value everyone else’s needs but forget that you’re worthy of that same care. For years, you’ve poured into your career, your family, and your relationships, leaving little left for yourself at the end of the day. And then one day, the signs of neglect start showing up: your sleep is restless, your energy crashes by mid-afternoon, your moods shift, or your doctor mentions blood sugar, blood pressure, or bone density. Menopause may feel like it’s working against you, but it’s really your body’s way of saying: “Pay attention. I need you now.” Your self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s your oxygen mask and the foundation for your energy, confidence, and longevity. Every balanced meal you prepare, strength session you complete and walk you take is more than just a healthy habit, it’s a statement that you MATTER.

You’re Not Selfish for Putting Yourself First

No, you're not selfish. You’re actually setting the standard for how others should value you. And when you do, you’re showing your daughter, your niece, your students or the women watching you that self-care is a priority.

So the next time you think that taking time for yourself is “too much,” or it isn't the "right time" or you're not "worth it", please remember that you are the most important investment you’ll ever make. And when you prioritize your wellness, you don’t take away from others, you show up BETTER for them. You show up with more patience, more presence, and more purpose.

Let this be your reminder that thriving in midlife starts when you say YES to you.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.Let’s talk about what thriving in menopause looks like for YOU.

Book your free Discovery Call and let’s create a personalized plan to help you feel strong, confident, and in control through menopause and beyond.

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